And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
