dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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