you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
