Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
