wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Randomize
