Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
