remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
