Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
