Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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