Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
