Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
