I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Randomize
