The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
