I faked an abortion last night.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize