my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
