it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Randomize
