Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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