tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
