David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
