sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
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