Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
