she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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