Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
