I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
