NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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