how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
