I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
