I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
