Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
