I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
So. Much. Porn.
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