**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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