I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
