me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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