I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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