I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
