Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
