Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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