grandma shit on top of the toilet
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
