And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
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