Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
