If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
