No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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