dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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