2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
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