i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Randomize