i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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