I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize