better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize