I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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