yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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