Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
