Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
