It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
