oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
