Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
