i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
