Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
