He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
