ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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